she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
