Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize