sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
