I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
stop calling my apartment porn island.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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