Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
