youre lurking in front of me
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
