so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
