Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
