found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Mom said you looked used
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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