you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
