i just wanna soil my oats bro
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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