If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
