someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
