I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
