The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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