Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
