Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
