Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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