Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
