don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
