worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
