Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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