Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I have post one night stand depression
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
