Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
