He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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