i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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