I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
