Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
