His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize