I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
