think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
