Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
