wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
