My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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