We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
