Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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