brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
