its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just googled if crying burns calories
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
