Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
