your parents love me but you hate me
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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