Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
