He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
