oh fat girl friday strikes again...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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