Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
