When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
