Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
