Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
