It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
