i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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