I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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