I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
