yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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