i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
