i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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