very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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