I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
