Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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