would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
