I think scott just propositioned me for sex
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
