Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
This is not my ceiling
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
