would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize