Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
