The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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